What happened to local bars actually being local? When I say local, I mean same quality of product at a fair price. Now there is no difference between going to a club in bourgeois Westlands and going to a bar in Nairobi West.
The average person would want to spend not more that Ksh 2,000 on a loose night out and this is when you are feeling philanthropic to have tipped the waitress and the bar keep. What happened to beer being less that Ksh 100 (its not like they are using a new formula to make the stuff) and you are left with some extra cash to buy yourself a pair of socks. Yes, you can shop at a local bar. You can get anything from a nail cutter to a spare tyre from the discomfort of your bar stool.
At a local bar, the method for payment is always post paid. At a club, you pay upfront. I have always hated being asked to pay before I even feel the temperature of my beer bottle. Now, I am begging for it! At a local! I don't want to be caught off guard by a bill that shrivels the testes. Once bitten, twice shy. I had to ask for the manager so that he can explain to me the kind of establishment that he was running. Please, we need these demarcations. Don't entice me to a heavy bill. This girl still wants to go a club afterwards Mr, Manager.
I cringe every time the budget is being read because the only people who are penalized are the consumers of the EABL products in the name of sin tax. Which sin is this that I am committing? The places where these products are sold help people find love, strike multi million deals, escape from their wives and host the occasional 45th birthday party. You can discuss about the most trivial of matters when actually hearing what the other person is saying because the volume of the music is at a respectable level. We like this comfort, but shock on us Local lovers when a police lorry is backed up into the entrance of the establishment and the only way you can go is up with you boxers firmly affixed in your butt crack. Surely! Serikali, which sin is this that I am committing by enjoying my beer slightly after eleven. I am practically in my own house.
And the food, healthy food! Kuku Kienyeji, I maintain that this is the best chicken in the world. even if you bring KFC or McDonalds. Galitos is the only one close. I still await a worthy challenger. Your wife's cooking even! I will be brought some tepid water and a lemon to wash my hands and sizzling hot food just minutes after. Oh, the service. At the club, I just usually die of hunger and all she wants is shots! Jesus, save me! Those smokies outside the club are killing your libido people, even those eggs, eating them with your dirty hands, OUTSIDE the club. Have you no pride!
The last local bar association was interrupted by the police, ofcourse! Most of us have been scared to gather but, mark my words, there is a revolution coming. A renaissance of the local bar. Freedom is coming tomorrow!
No comments:
Post a Comment